My partner's such an idiot.

So we're chasing down these Autobots, right? Two of them, just about identical. One of 'em can fly and one of 'em drives, but frankly I've never really been able to tell 'em apart. Fastlane, Cloudraker, somethin' like that. Who knows. Never did understand the point. Just confuses me.

So anyway, we corner one of them into a ravine, but apparently he was the flying one, because he transforms and rockets off into the sky. And he keeps going...and going...and going. Seriously, it's like he's just going to keep on ascending until he gets into space. Ridiculous, right? Predictably, his engines conk out and he plummets back to Earth. Now, my partner is ready for this, so he does some half-hearted tracking to try to compute where the Autobot's gonna land. He's sloppy about it, though, and his estimate is off by a good country mile. He crawls back across the landscape, having to do some serious backtracking. Meanwhile, I've actually checked my target's trajectory, so I'm pretty confident about where the Autobot is going to end up. I swoop in low and fast, and even manage to clip him a couple of times with my wing lasers before he tumbles to the ground.

He's a complete wreck. At this point he's not going to turn into a jet or a car or anything else, for that matter—he's just one big, twisted mass of red and grey metal. Now, I know there are Decepticons out there who don't like to hit an enemy when he's down. Something about playing fair, or whatever. I don't know. I usually don't listen to it. Me, I say that any kill is a good kill. I charge my weapons to capacity, and I'm about to unleash a mighty blast—

When who should come scrambling up the hill but my brainless partner, firing seemingly random shots into the dirt, the rock, the everything. He's pelting the entire terrain with laser fire, kicking up sand and dust so thick that my aerial tracking system is detecting too many particles to re-establish a lock. I fire anyway, hoping that I'll get lucky, but some of the random laser shots actually hit Cloudraker-or-whoever, neatly knocking him just out of my range. I scream in frustration.

The dust cloud is also affecting my vision, though, and I'm too close to the ground. I don't want to risk a collision, so I soar back into the sky, wishing I had some kind of self-cleaning mechanism for my optic scanners. I'm so frustrated. Not only did I lose my target, but I'm also running low on power now. I don't have enough juice for another shot like that, not if I want to get home afterwards. Why did I have to get stuck working with such a moron?

"Flywheels," I hear over the communicator. It's that cretin, Battletrap. "I found the other clone. Reconnoiter and meet me at the entrance to the ravine as quickly as possible."

"Fine," my partner and I respond simultaneously. It's going to take a couple of minutes for me to find my other half, though. He's probably gotten himself into trouble yet again. I perform an aerial loop so I can get a better view, but I still can't see through the dust cloud. I turn on my infrared tracking and, sure enough, he managed to drive his tank mode right off the side of the ledge into the chasm below. I have no idea how I'm going to extract him, now. Even if I effected a partial transformation, he's the one who's got my arms.

I do so hate him so.



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This  Story Written May 2010